Not-Single Mostly White Female
It’s been another fun day in Casa del Here. I think someone stole my mail and there’s no word yet on The Brother’s surgery.
It’s been a weird day emotionally, I think because of that. PMS and unmedicated Bipolar Disorder. It leads to a lot of sleeping, starting the laundry then forgetting the laundry, preparing food then getting too nauseas/hot/lazy to eat it, and the acne…the acne. The horror.
Justice sent me a random text message today; short and sweet. Random short and sweet text messages are the best. I want/need to see and tend to someone today but our weeks are just so completely out of sync that we just can’t do that. It’s a bummer but that’s fine. I know he cares for me and I know that I care for him and someday we will be able to see/talk to each other more.
I’ve gotten pretty good at rationalizing the random moments of being a complete headcase, in case you haven’t noticed.
Getting an email from Texas Cuss helps quite a bit. I missed her so much it hurt.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go through the Help Wanted section again and heat up a burrito.
Uncle Glenn and Shitting My Pants
Uncle Glenn died and John is to the point that he can’t control his bodily functions anymore; everyone’s talking about that for some reason and I don’t know why. It isn’t important. They keep using it as a sort of Death Clock on him, like shitting your pants is having one foot in the grave.
When they fucked with my spine they put a bag inside me so I wouldn’t shit my bed. Before my friend gave birth she got an enema so she wouldn’t shit herself. We weren’t dying.
John is most definitely dying. He is dying soon. But I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t want to be remembered as the guy who went out refusing to wear Depends.
Fucking, with this whole extended life expectancy there’s no dignity in death anymore. When I go just let me go, no diapers, no church services to silently hate other family members over, no potato salad lunches afterward, just pull a shroud over me and dump me in the ocean. Give me a pyre or let the barnacles lay claim.
Or clam. Tee-hee.
